How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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