i think i scared a bird with my dick
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
