how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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