yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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