She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
