shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
