guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
