Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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