I wanna bring you to show and tell
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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