I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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