I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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