you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
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I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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