if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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