i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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