U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
