Midget sex pt 2 tonight
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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