Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
