I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
