He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
