Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
