What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
