so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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