Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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