We're like a lot better than the average bears
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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