After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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