All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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