so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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