new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
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i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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