haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
