the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
