have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
