She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
