is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
