exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
