Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
