i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
