Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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