its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I want a musical about memes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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