I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
