soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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