I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im six kinds of drunk right now
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
