So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
