He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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