I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
