guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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