Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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