Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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