how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
