he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
