I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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