dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
