Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
