Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
