I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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