I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
