i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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