I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The ass gains better be worth it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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