She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen