also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.