My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code