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• (214): View more from Texas

  Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.

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• (661): View more from California

  I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks

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