He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.