You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
