none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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